"Fredrick" is a new app which says it lets men know how to act around their girlfriends, based on what time of the month it is.
Phew, because we all know that us ladyfolk transform into hysterical, blood-logged beasts who can't even control our own thoughts for a week out of every month. We faint, scream and all our teeth turn into horrendous black pegs.
Some even vomit slugs.
Luckily, "Fredrick" is here to help. Because women are so similar to maps, the app boasts that it can help men "navigate" your girlfriend.
No, this app isn't about finding out how to pleasure women; it's to help men know whether they can be in the same room as their love without her exploding or turning into a frog, depending on what time of the month it is.
The process is simple - men type in the day their girlfriend starts her period, and the app works out roughly what her cycle is.
The description of the app on the App Store is concise: "Meet Fredrick - an honest menstrual cycle navigator, for men. Use it daily to help navigate her monthly. Mate, you'll thank us. Really."
It's doubtful users of the app will thank the brainiacs behind it when their girlfriends find out why exactly it is they are on their phones all the time. "Oh, I was just tracking your monthly cycle babe, so I knew whether it was OK to speak to you today!"
The app also dispenses 'helpful' advice, such as ""don't make her sneeze". Lovely.
It even has a "mood tracker" and gives men a percentage likelihood of getting "grief" from their girlfriends.
Even if this app is a joke, it isn't funny - as it only seeks to reinforce harmful stereotypes that a woman can't function on her period.
So here's a top tip on how to "navigate" your girlfriend without having to splash out £1.40 on an infantile and sexist app - ask her how she's feeling.
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